Truth is Beauty: Some testimonials
‘I have had bilateral mastectomies. While I was in treatment, I would whip my top off without a thought, and was so used to it that I sometimes worried that I might do it in front of friends or others who weren't doctors about to examine/treat me. A couple of years on, I'm not self-conscious about being flat in clothes, but I really don't like my scars and dread being somewhere where I might have to get changed in public. So it was totally refreshing and somewhat mindblowing to see Claire Collison's amazing and powerful performance about life modelling with a mastectomy last night at the Spirited Bodies event in London. It has really made me think about my relationship with my body as it is now, and the invisibility of women with mastectomies generally. If you can get to one of her performances, I completely recommend it! I also really enjoyed Claire's way with words, and her stories which were very moving and sometimes hilarious. Next step for me - I'm considering daring myself to use the very pleasant but scarily exposing open changing space next time I go to the swimming pool (like I would have done before surgery), instead of my 'new normal' of lurking till there's a free cubicle…'
Posted on Flat Friends FaceBook page (reproduced with consent of author)
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“I enjoyed the event. I thought your presentation was very good: the mixture of words and poses. I surprised myself with my drawings: they were much better than I thought they would be. This was helped by the speed at which the poses changed which encouraged me to make spontaneous marks rather than worry about whether it was going to look good enough.”
(Peterborough participant, TIB)
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“Your walk appeared on my facebook feed. I was intrigued by the concept and signed up. I too have had a mastectomy and chosen against reconstruction. I’ve written and thought privately about what I went through and the time-constrained decisions I had to make. On the walk I discovered I was not alone. Your walk and talk excited me. Here was a woman who had similar experience and was out and proud about it! You railed against bra stockists; you helped me understand our conditioning towards symmetry; you educated me about the number of women who choose the path I chose. By the end of the walk I was feeling recognised rather than isolated. Since the mastectomy and the healing of the physical scar, returning to work and ‘normal’ life, my prosthesis has rendered me acceptable to all around. It seemed like there was nothing more to be said. It was over. You showed me that there is!
I was reluctant to come to the life drawing workshop. I have no artistic talent and felt it would be a waste of paper. But I wanted to see your performance. What had you created?
As has happened more regularly recently, the ‘why the hell not?’ voice kicked in and I signed up. The email arrived explaining there would be an opportunity to be a life model. That voice again. Shortly before the performance I found some thoughts I had written the day before before my operation. I brought them.
I was very moved by your bravery and honesty during the performance. I sketched in my spidery tentative way and left the inner critic at the door. There was an atmosphere of respectful industry. I felt close to tears on occasion, I think because I recognised your truth.
When the invitation to model was given I froze. My comfort zone was 50 miles away. Aside from strangers in a German sauna no-one outside the medical profession has seen my scar. My lack of symmetry. Then I moved. I wasn’t going to get this opportunity again. I was visible. And I shared some of my thoughts. When it was over, I felt elated and excited and proud that I had taken part. I was fascinated by the sketches of me laid out on the floor and photographed two of them, which I treasure.
Thank you so much for this project. You are doing wonderful work in the world.”
(participant ITOB and TIB, Peterborough)
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“Thank you Claire. The strong feeling of female solidarity was gentle and open.
Your theatrical performance in the nude was awe inspiring.
I enjoyed my life drawing under the unique conditions never experienced before.WOW
All in all it was a perfect combination so much delicious food for the soul
PS. Thanks to the METAL team. You did a great job. Loved your breast cakes.
(participant,TIBPeterborough)
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“I enjoyed the event. I thought your presentation was very good: the mixture of words and poses. I surprised myself with my drawings: they were much better than I thought they would be. This was helped by the speed at which the poses changed which encouraged me to make spontaneous marks rather than worry about whether it was going to look good enough.”
(participant,TIBPeterborough)
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“I learnt a great deal about the facts of breast cancer and surgery, I was quite ignorant before. I enjoyed watching Claire's engaging and thought provoking performance, and the people's reactions. It made me imagine how I might feel in her situation, what I would do. It made me feel informed, and nourished to be part of a therapeutic artistic community sharing knowledge, in a supportive women's space too.
I learnt more about the particular and harmful biases in our society and the medical profession in relation to breast cancer and women's bodies. How the way we look is given priority over what would be best for our health, and this is largely with the consideration of our mental health. But surely also that women are supposed to look a certain way if they are to feel ok, acceptable. How ingrained and institutionalised this is, so how much harder for women to overcome their own body image issues if their disturbing demise is sanctioned in medical practice.
I think Claire's performance should be shown to medical professionals and breast cancer patients and women and men in general as a public awareness initiative. So in hospitals and medical schools and health centres as well as art centres. Also universities as with Goldsmiths, in collaboration with women's/medical/art departments.”
Esther Bunting, facilitator, and founder of Spirited Bodies
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“Thanks for really interesting life drawing classes. I came away feeling educated to the needs of those wishing to make a choice about breast cancer...and opened up choice for all of us. It’s so important to have this sort of direct experience opportunity. Drawing in detail meant that i don't feel so apprehensive and fearful of this condition and breast cancer.”
(participant, WAL)
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“Standing nude before her audience with a few poignant props, she weaved her recollections and hopes for the future through a series of graceful poses, and I watched as participants sketched the shapes her body made. During the discussion following Claire's performance, a few women raised their hands to declare that they were fellow "flat friends" and had attended the session because they were curious about how she would treat the sensitive subject of her mastectomy. It was clear that they were elated by the positive representation she'd just delivered, and their kinship warmed the room as Claire clasped her chest just above her heart, which is where her scar sits, and said ‘This is me.’”
Review in Feminist Library newsletter
***“Like in a church or museum, speaking in a life drawing class is somewhat taboo, and it took a moment to adjust to the sound of speech. However, Claire’s stories were so remarkable that I soon became entranced by her life experiences. I had to draw snippets of movement, because each pose was fleeting, sometimes five minutes, other times five seconds. I found myself writing down quotes or words, and felt like each line I drew was part of the larger narrative. I was participating in this performance by sharing the space with her and absorbing her words. In drawing her body, I began to understand her struggle.”
Tallulah, participant at FL event, blog post
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“Claire’s event was so innovative, stimulating and enriching – I think any woman would benefit from attending. It changed my thinking about the issues around mastectomy and related body image. I arrived feeling fearful but the combination of Claire’s artwork, beautiful poetry with the opportunity to try life drawing Claire, left me feeling informed, uplifted and empowered. I feel that his is the kind of art women need today – it is truly radical, educational and transformative.”
Kim McMahon, participant WAL event